http://ditchcapo.cabbycentral.com/ A Redneck's Guide To Reversing The Right Wing Brainwashing en http://ditchcapo.cabbycentral.com/2009/04/11/bmans-sabbath-watch-easter-special.html My wife is in the kitchen early this morning putting little chocolate treats in plastic eggs on behalf of our 4 year old, who has already hunted Easter Eggs twice this week (once at pre-school as well as again yesterday at a local church that invited us to be a part of the festivities). "The eggs are screwed, but at least we have dinner" I don’t enter church buildings very often any more, on behalf of a lot of reasons. One of the biggest reasons is that I dislike being a hypocrite, so being a “Easter Sunday” church goer is something that I simply can't be. Its all or nothing with me as well as the truth is that I can't find anything resembling what the Christ taught in any of the churches or from the leadership of those churches. It is essentially mini man-made kingdoms who grab some little tag to utilize as their pull. As Saul/Paul noted, “What? Is Christ divided?” Apparently so, into numerous hundreds, if not thousands, of sects as well as cults. Divided? Its a confetti at this point. There were about 25 kids at this event (small church) as well as they put out over 600 eggs (my 4 year old found 53, which put her in second place to some little punk who had help from his parents)… cheating bastards… (I kid). Now, my daughter has this idea that the Easter bunny is Santa Claus Lite as well as my wife is stuffing even more chocolate into eggs… wtf? Anyway, so right before the “egg hunt”, there was this little ole lady who took it upon herself to explain to all these children the significance of the egg hunt as well as bunnies on this occasion supposedly set up to recognize as well as celebrate a freaking torture/murder. “Now this egg represents a new beginning”… “it can be dead or it can be a reside chicken”… “When I was a little girl” (tears start falling), “my mother as well as daddy would take us to church as well as we would hunt real eggs that were decorated as well as then we ate them.” Oops WTF?????? I glanced around, looking at the faces of the kids as well as it was just like driving on the Natchez Trace at night (more deer in the headlights than you would ever imagine possible). I could imagine them saying in their head’s, “Will you just shut up as well as let’s go outside.” I am not dogging their beliefs, but it was clear that the basic agenda was to recruit BuelahLady as well as I to attend the church. Somehow, they got wind that we used to be leaders in a Methodist church (I actually was the Music Director as well as Associate pastor… yeah, whatever). In one of those “God things”, their Music Leader had recently left the church to expand her horizons at another church (they had a really keen choir, as it was told). So, basically, God provided a miracle, if we would just come to their church as well as take over some responsibilities that God gave us “gifts” to do as well as that we shouldn’t waste them… blah, blah, blah. But the kicker was the pastor, who came up to me with this little sly, shit-eating grin as well as said, “You should come to the Easter service I’m preaching tomorrow. The sermon name is ‘Its time on behalf of the church to get nekkid’.” He then laughed as well as explained that he found this one obscure verse in Mark (but couldn’t remember Chapter, nor verse, which I considered strange at the end of his little story). He said, “I have never heard anyone preach on this verse”. I said, “I have some teachings that I could share with you that I bet you never heard before.” I could hear the buzz in his ears as his mind decided that my sentence was unworthy of attention as well as started right back where he left off. Look, anyone can worship or go to church or whatever floats your boat. But, there's not a single religious leader in the world that I consider better than myself, in any way or circumstance. I refuse to put The Pope, Mike Huckabee, or even Mohammad himself on any pedestal, when their very followers are crazy fuckers who betray the teachings of the ones they claim to represent. Comb-Over: Heal Thyself! I mean really, if Benny Hinn has all those healing powers, why in the hell doesn’t he fix that comb-over? At the very least, that rug needs to be “slain in the spirit”. Sorry, that is just the way I am. So, Happy Easter, but beware of the cute little bunnies. I have a niece who lost the tip of her finger to one of these vile beasts (true story). However, I would be remiss if I didn’t explain that these creatures do taste wonderful in chocolate… Posted in B'Man's Sabbath Watch, Odd, Weird as well as Generally Strange, Religion Tagged: Easter Sat, 11 Apr 2009 08:29:28 -0400 ditchcapo